Long Silence...

Long silence never meant I have stopped writing. Indeed, I gave myself a space to think and rethink of what should be my next step to raise my family for a better journey. Life has been hard for the past couple of months after we came back from the States. My plan to continue the unpaid leave was cut short due to our financial situation. Luckily the house already completed before we came back and my parents helped a lot with the settings and house cleaning while we were preparing ourselves on the journey back. The weather was challeging especially for Najihah, who could not stand hot weather in Nilai. Nabilah was fine but she was having trouble with the new school, new environment and most of all, everyday without her sister accompanying her. I sent Nabilah to her old Taska nearby my office, but I have to send Najihah to the nearest Taska to our house because there is no more room for her at Nabilah's place. Quite sad, and until now Najihah still cry when I left her with the caregiver. Life must goes on.

When the bad news came (as we have expected), I still firmly believe that it was not our wrong doings that brought us to where we are here. He was just careless and he paid the price for it. But when the bank turned down the loan, I was speechless. The situatioan worsen when the car and notebook that we depended on, will be taken back should the debt cannot be settled within a couple of months. Up till now, I am still waiting for the bank decision for the loan and keep praying that everything will be fine sooner. My circle of close friends is very small, and my husband, after the incident, does not have anymore close friends. I was sad for him, but sadness will make things worse.

I sold things that I brought back from the States and enough to cover our expenses for the past months. My bonus was not in the account yet despite my continuous nag with the HR to expedite the process. The kind clerk helped me with my ESOSII which I am going to sell for the car, and I am still waiting for RM800 checks from LHDN for my husband's excess paid tax. While Maybank was cruel to take the only RM300 left in the account to cover the credit card debt, which is obviously has all the reasons in the world not to be paid, BCB helped with the new account and AmBank insurance for the kids are still on.

I have lists of things to do: for the house, for the kids and for the life waiting for us the next couple of months. I am gonna spend the remaining savings to invest in something that I believe will change our life for a better one. I hope this time the fruits of my labor will be sweeter and juicer. For the sake of my kids. Insya'Allah.