Boggling Mind..

I need to write. I need my space. I got my space but I feel empty once I am in it. I am down with too much work and less time to think. But I think, I think that I think hard enough and boggled my mind. I had bad time on Sunday with the ‘breakfast’ incident. I am too lazy to cook in the morning, but the idea of asking DH to cook but I was the one who prepares the meal and later got free lecture made me think twice to ask again. I went out from the office yesterday, came back late at midnight only to find a silent house as everyone already slept. The kids, I did not see for almost 24 hours and it was weird. I dare not enter their bedroom as the young ones may wake up. Could not sleep much thinking about how should I do my work the next morning. I started to hate my work. Too much but I do not know where to throw it away. I can’t throw them away. I need to do. That is why I need to write. My mind is scrambling for things to discuss for unexpected meeting. I need to set those test sheets and all. I need to do that, I need to do this. While everyone else is enjoying their life. The truth is I am born to be a loner, and DH understand that but somehow he could not come understand why I became a loner. I lost the plan during the middle of last year. I stopped writing my weekly plan and I came up with short cuts. I strategize but the strategies ate me up. I lied, unintentionally, that everything will be fine despite the fact that everything needs to run speed light now. I need the proposals, but I could not do it alone. I have good team but I need them to be the best team. I am writing this, and I am the center of this conversation. I can do it, but someone needs to help me to come through. Who is that? I do not know. I need to write. I need my space. And the boggling conversation will never ends.. unless I decide to end it. Period.