I am having a very bad headache of which I did not know the origin. I slept late last nite and today is the result. I wanted to go out and meet my collaborator for discussion but I could not stand the heat outside. The house was too hot during the day and I decided to stay in the office and finish up the work. Another 3 days to go before the deadline, and I am very unhappy with the whole idea of getting the report to finish on time. I could not get on the net on this computer and ended up with eye sore looking at LCD for quite a long time. I wanted to buy Mozart CD and I guess there is still time to go and buy one for me. Now I am asking myself, why this time I was so lazy to get the report done and at the same time I knew that it will be a very bad consequence that I did not finish the work as per contract date. To satisfy myself, I listed the reason why:
1. This project is not my favorite project.
2. This project comes from other people of which I had left them to carry it out while I was gone for a year. I came back and the proposal was still there, so, I ended up taking it as a challenge.
3. I could not see the immediate benefit that the company will gain from the work, other than I will be very capable in doing the analysis and design for the high voltage substation, meaning more work for me, with less resources.
4. I am not very much keen in working on the ground anymore, this is a black art and being involve in this matter will bring me down to the ground as black art artist more often that I like too.
5. My true passion will be the environment, I love environment and dealing will all sort of mother nature stuffs. Although ground is part of mother nature, I could not extend the level of my passion to the ground compared to other stuffs from nature.
6. I am not an engineer anymore. I am going to be a fashionista. Period.
Six reasons and I could not think of anymore. This project is worthwhile doing only that I could not bring myself to be passionate about the subject any further than ‘this work will gain me my MEE and the key to my PhD’… there must be someone that will advise me to further it to PhD but no thanks, I will return to environment and mother nature as I am forever a naturalist.
End of story. I am still searching my Coach and maybe I just drive to Alamanda and buy another Sembonia for the time being, until I got enough for a beautiful Coach bag. I wish I am in the
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