A child...

On my way back from Crystal Plaza today, I met a woman pushing a stroller.. in it was her disabled son, hands covered with cloth and he wore a pair of worn shoes. He looks like about 7 years old to me.. but so thin and can barely walk. Both sides of the stroller are cushioned with sponges, to avoid her son's head to knock on the steel. Suddnely I felt sad. Deep inside I was honestly grateful for my life has been better than hers up till now. I'm blessed with a healthy daughter and a good life. Eventhough I do not have millions in savings, I can see my daughter laughing, smilling while enjoying her books.. clapping hands, throwing balls at me and do all sort of things little babies would normally do.. But, this mother, I doubt she can see her son do all that.. and yet she is patiently caring for him as though he is a perfect healthy son. At one point, I think I'm taking many things for granted. I was frustrated when my baby pouring her milk around the house.. When actually I should be grateful that she can move her fingers and hold the bottle and move it gracefully to pour it on the floor.. something that this mother will never see her son does it..



Many things in life we have taken much for granted. Promise myself will appreciate what I have today, and not to compare with others. I'm happy, and nothing else matters.

A wheel...

I read Najah's and Nad's blog right after Zohor prayer. Just hope that my life won't be like the Bad Man in Najah's and pray that I'm still healthy after 25 years eating junk food.. felt sorry for Nadd even though I did not know her in person. I envy the courage she has while fighting the leukemia and those painful treatment.. I want to be well and healthy because I have so many things to do for my self, my family and my children.. most of all, I haven’t had chance to repay everything that my parents did for me up till now.. If everyone in this world just take a minute to ponder on life.. that life is like a wheel, sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down, I think this world will be a better place to live in.. well, at least there will be a better place to work and enjoy the fun.. not worrying about sales, profits, promotions, office politics and so on.

I love my work but nowadays, it seems that the work does not seem to be fun anymore.. perhaps I should consider changing it.. emmm..

p/s: going home at 4 o'clock today.. MD said we’ve done well on the seminar. Hahaha!!!

Emotions...

I never expected it to come from my own 8-months old daughter.. but last night marked the beginning of Nabilah truly expressed her emotions while sleeping.. Sunday was supposed to be a relax day for both of us.. but since we woke up late for sahur, my hubby and I only managed to eat murtabak bought for buka puasa. So, we kind of 'extra hungry' yesterday.. hehehe... My effort to put Nabilah down to sleep was to no avail.. she won't buy it, drank her milk and kept on playing with everything that she can get hold onto.. we were frustrated and yelled to each other even to Nabilah, just to show her that mummy and daddy are in dire need for the afternoon nap.. but she just want to play.. we did bring her to pasar ramadhan and I guessed she must be quite happy with that.. she did not cry, though.. but her eyes meant something.. something that I can never figure out until last night. She cried and cried endlessly throughout the night.. me, alonewith her just couldn't believe my baby was crying non-stop from half past eleven until near two in the morning.. maybe something was bothering her.. maybe she kept thinking about her mummy and daddy yelling to her because she doesn't want to sleep.. or something was bothering her that my naked eyes could not see but she can.. I was, too, afraid and held her close to me as long as I could. I went out of the room and took out her pouch (that was filled with a handkerchief written with ayat-ayat suci Al-Quran) from her grandpa. Put it near her head and the room went silent.. she was at ease and began to drift.. maybe she finally overcome her sadness and realize that mummy will never leave her alone.. finally, I can get my peace and slept like there will be no other night...



p/s: baby knows many ways to hide their emotions.. mine is tactfully hold it until she sleeps and burst it in her dreams.. we both adore you anyway..

Baby's Rashes..

Today is the third day Nabilah's without rashes.. her back was severely red with those itchy rashes that make her right hand to scratch there whenever she get the chance.. usually during nappy change.. I was frustrated at first because even the bedak sejuk which always work on her, seems not working at all.. Her rashes getting redder even after I pampered her with quite a lot of bedak sejuk.. Drapolene and other ointments are hopeless as she is allergic to those chemicals... I've tried few times with Drapolene, and just cannot stand the look in her eyes.. like saying "Mak, don't put that on my butt, it is 'itchier' even worse.."



So, I decided to change my view on bedak sejuk.. stop using it.. no more.. I took VCare Moisturizing Shampoo, and rub it on her butt during nappy change.. I just prayed that the shampoo work with her.. Later that evening, after returning back from nursery, I changed her diaper with napkin and saw the rashes dissapear, no more red itchy looking rashes on her butt.. I was so happy.. maybe it is just luck that she's not that energetic at school so, less peluh trapped in her diaper.. every morning, I shampooed her with VCare and it turned out her rashes all gone.. her butt is back to normal.. no more itchiness, but she still has the habit of scratching herself.. something to worth mentioning to my sister and mommies friends out there..



I am just glad that I found VCare products from Shuang Hor.. with Lingzhi, Aloe Vera and its 99.9% chemical free ingredients, Im sure my family is using safe products.. after years coned into using chemical-polluted personal care and skin care products... Life is such a fun!

Kerepek Pisang...

I hate to take phone calls from (1) private numbers and (2) unidentified caller. But somehow I took the call just because the caller rang me twice non-stop. Well, no one else other than a person asking me to bank-in the cheque as soon as possible since I failed to do so last Friday.. emmm, annoying enough.. and I thought that selling the property is a good idea.. maybe I'll discuss it further with my hubby once he's at home with us..



Anyway, that phone call made me think of my brother, my sister in-law and my mother. It is nice to hear their voice in this freezing room, in the middle of afternoon. Told them that my cousin, Zuheir, who lives in the States for almost 10 years, will not coming back this months.. her mother, who is our Mak Usu studying PhD in Iowa told me that maybe he will stay there for another year.. well, it is good to see them again, but at the same time.. my grandma will be heartbroken if she cannot keep her promises..



We talked about food. They are preparing nasi tomato for Iftar.. yummy.. I'll only buy anything eatable from Pasar Ramadhan near my house.. My brother asked my aunt how to cook it but she refused to give him the recipe.. emm, very unlike Mak Andak style.. since when she is so kedekut with her recipe.. haven't seen her quite a while.. Along wanted me to help mak with kerepek pisang and extra tumpi this coming Raya.. I just hope Nabilah won't be too excited to venture out in the kitchen with her mommy frying kerepek pisang in a big, hot kuali.. Kerepek pisang has always been my fav raya tidbits.. My mom taught me how to make it.. first, you have to choose good quality pisang tanduk.. usually sell at RM1.40 per kilos (and they do get quite expensive near Raya).. then, kopek its kulit carefully.. sliced it with good quality slicer (cheap ones do not give thin crispy kerepek pisang.. ) right into hot cooking oil mixed with salt.. wait until it is golden yellow and take it away.. keringkan atas surat khabar and store the crisps in a large rectangular biscuits tin.. can last up to 2-3 months after that.. but mine always finish right after raya.. hehehe... Last year, eventhough I spent the first Syawal with my in-laws, I managed to fry 2 tandan pisang tanduk and get 2 tins out of it.. did it during Ramadhan and I was 8-months pregnant back then.. lenguh badan after sitting from morning till noon frying them.. I bet Nabilah mesti suka makan kerepek pisang.. after all, she was in me last time I fried the crisps.. we did it together.. hehehe..



Hope my plan will work this year.. begging my hubby to balik kampung 2 days earlier..

Procrastinating...

I have a report due in 3 days but still I keep clicking on Netscape to browse latest gossips from my frens. Here and here. My two most favs sites.. My boss won't like it, though. Well, I don't care.. as long as I finish them on time. Procrastinate. I've been doing it since I was young (I'm not that old.. just a bit more than 'suku abad'.. hehehe).



Just this morning, I realized that Nabilah's diapers were all gone. No stock at home. Luckily, there are 4 left in the suitcase.. so, I packed 3 for her nursery change and another for her change before going to school .. we refer to her nursery as school.. hehehe.. should pay more attention to basic necessities for Nabilah.. emmm, no more procrastination, I suppose..



p/s: I made a deal with my hubby to go to Tesco this weekend.. buy more diapers, formula and Milna biscuits for her.. it's cheaper at Tesco than Warta!

Mistake...

I made a big mistake today.. and to the person whom I adored so much. I did not intentionally left the most important thing that keep our communication channel open.. 'the' handphone.. in the room. It was a mistake. The meeting stressed me out, and my boss could not decide what to do first. Two hours, and finally the meeting finished. I went back to my room only to find 99 missed calls. *urggghhh.. I'm in a big trouble. I can only hope that someone is in the office, to give me a lift home.. sob.. sob.. I'll keep my handphone with me all the time. Promise.



p/s: to my dearest hubby.. if you happen to read this blog.. I love you always and forever, muahh! muahhs! Bulan puasa tak baik marah-marah tau bang...

Travelling..

We went back to Kemaman last Friday evening. Traffic was bad, I supposed it was all because it was the first day of Ramadhan. It took us two hours driving from Bangi before we reached Gombak toll. Breakfasting was a total mess. My husband and I took turns eating, and when my turn to eat.. Nabilah just cannot stay in the car with her father. *sigh*



Fasting during the day really tiresome, at least for me. Our energetic Nabilah always want us to accompany her. Feeding her is another problem. She loves eating but at the same time, messed her face with the food. And she knows when we are going out.. she doesn't want her evening nap at all. We just brought her along to Pasar Ramadhan, I cradled her, she slept for half an hour.. phew! what a scene.. holding your 8-months old daughter for half an hour.. kebas tangan!!



Journey back home was not much easier.. my husband decided to start travelling after breakfasting.. and he wanted to go slowly.. I mean, pack everything in his own sweet time.. while my mother-in-law kept asking us to pack everything before breakfasting.. because she wanted to go to masjid.. I don't mind but it did stress me more as I was the one who had to pack everything, changed Nabilah clothes (how she hates her clothes to be changed.. ) and finally get myself prepared too.. all in half an hour.. and I slept the whole journey.. too tired to think of anything else.. hehehe...



Next time, will pack the bags in the afternoon!

Return...

It has been a while since I first blogged in July.. Life has been so hectic, with work, Nabilah, family and all sort of things that came to my schedule at the very last minute..



August, let me think.. English Day, yep.. took my whole two weeks just to make sure that everything in order.. make sure that actor/s didn't forget their lines.. synchronize the slides show.. a terrible month, I could say.. I need a break after that but I didn't.. because September came...



September.. another busy month for me.. spent a week sorting out currency exchange, courier service, advance and petty cash.. so that my trip will be worthwhile.. well, it didn't go that well.. FedEx drove me crazy when they mistakenly delivered my parcel.. I received a parcel that is supposed to go to Italy.. for a week I tried (well, a guy in that office where I'm training at..) chasing them to find my equipment as soon as possible.. but they just not effective.. that make me think, we Malaysians are more hardworking and helpful than Europeans.. *sigh*.. It was sad, since we did not finish the job in time due to this confusion matter.. came back exhausted and frustrated.. I did my own way finding the equipment, until today I still think it was me that actually do all the finding and corresponding.. while the English, sitting in their office talking and doing nothing but giving sweet promises.. I contacted the Italian lady (recipient of the parcel I received) by email (yep.. email works!) and asked her to help with the problem (report and all sort of chasing FedEx over there to speed up a bit).. My initial thought that the equipment is still in Stanstead was correct, it was there all along and FedEx people didn't bother to check at all.. Oh well! When the equipment finally arrived, I was here in my office, and Cardiff weather was so bad that people over there had to wait until the next week to test it.. What a waste of time! Lucky that the equipment is intact and nothing is missing.. if not, I have to deal with the insurance.. again.. Thinking about this, my employers should pay me higher... my salary is not enough to deal with all frustrations and exhaustion that makes my heart, liver and kidney work harder.. I need more nutrient !!!!



Nutrient.. heh, came to think about that.. I think Lingzhi did a good job to me... for two weeks I've been working 9 to 5 compiling all results and discussion on the projects... the next two weeks, I was given an assignment to prepare a final report (a draft.. not more than that.. since he will definitely makes changes..) The amount of work was doubled.. and for the first time, I cannot stand the PC for more than an hour straight.. nauseated and teary eyed.. I was a bit sceptic to take Lingzhi.. the reason is more because it is expensive! Hehehe.. Later, when my problems keep coming back and I strongly feel it is due to exhaustion, I took them slowly.. 2 capsules per day.. everything seems ok and better.. and now, I started telling my friends about it..



Oh well, life goes on..