Why me?

This week I have been reasoning with myself on why I am so demotivated to do my work and procrastinating on every bit of my latest venture into 'grounding' world. Yesterday I had a very busy day with potential new client and I ended up with recreational surfing for the last one hour of work before going to Alamanda for my kids' puzzles. I looked up at my office Wiki, and started thinking - what I want to see this office becomes, or at least what I want to see the lab becomes in a year. This morning, I spoke to a new SPAM lady boss and she wanted to know why staff turn around at this office is high. With us was another lady friend, and her views are completely different with me. Hopefully I did not send a wrong message to this lady boss. Well, everyone can have their own views but they need to have the same aspiration. While 2 weeks back my boss asked for my CV and short write up on my past achievements, and today I got quite impressive feedback. I was nominated as Researcher with Best Potential for 2008 Award and the award is pending our big boss approval. There was no such award last time. They made it up eventually. Haha. I am sure they are many others will be 'tak puas hati' with the selection. Duhh. I am not looking forward to any award, just doing what I think best for the company. Maybe in 2 years time, the Best Researcher Award will be mine. But why me? How do they measure my Potential? The burden is heavier now that everyone is looking at me, to be a Technical Expert in my field.

Life must go on. And if I got the award, credit goes to my team, my family and those people who work with me throughout the whole process of becoming a researcher.